When crap goes down I don't have the best handle on it. Usually it sneaks up on me and this time it was no different. I still think of things and go to text you, something funny I read or something cool I found. Your number is still in my phone and sometimes when I think I might be able to fix it I go back and read the last few texts we exchanged and I have to re-realize that I didn't break anything. You did.
But, I still have a few questions that you never answered. They probably won't ever be answered, but at least then I can say that I asked.
You knew I used the combination of your middle name and your moms for Sophia's, it was your moms suggestion. You and I used to talk every day, I would even text you in the middle of the night sometimes cause I couldn't wait to tell you something. You were the one who kept most in contact with me while I was out here and I never had to worry about not having someone to talk to. I was going to get a marriage license so I could be your female pastor thingy. We made plans for the summer, plans for when I move back home for deployment. Plans for parties, concerts and trading Pokemon. We went somewhere every day when I was pregnant with Darren, saw tons of movies. Read the same books.
I'd known you since you were a Sophmore, and I've never treated you any different than anyone else. Maybe I treated you as a closer friend than anyone. But, what else was I going to do?
Where exactly did it go bad? Where did I mess up to make you so incredibly mad at me that all it took was the asking of borrowing a video game to set you off? You didn't say anything to me until I came to you about it. And the only reason I knew something was wrong is because you stopped talking to me. Where did talking every day turn into "we're growing apart". When did that happen? Even now after all the crap I haven't grown away from you. But you've grown away from me. Being high school friends is the same as being any other kind of friend. You're friends in the first place because you have something in common with that person, that doesn't change because you met in school or at work or when you're 30. And what about people you referred to as your sisters friends? What makes you think you're going to stay friends with them? All you have in common with them is your sister.
I guess, I just don't understand where the 7 years went and how one thing could make them so meaningless.
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