Does being an Adult mean I can't be happy?

While laying here this morning I came across something on pinterest that got me thinking, when was the last time I laughed? I'm not talking about the pity laughs when Tony's being stupid or the mom laughs when Darren does something funny. I mean, when was the last time I laughed until I cried? Or I laughed so hard that I had a six pack after?(Not really, but you catch my drift.) When was the last time I sat around with my friends for hours and we did nothing but be stupid and bounce inside jokes off each other and were still laughing about it days later?

High school, freaking high school. Or Just after. I mean there have been moments like with Tony's cousin Alex when we used to go clubbing or with Jessie and Kennedy at the movies when I was pregnant with Darren, or when I'm with whoever at sushi. But it's not like it was when we were in school. Where the hell did it go? Has life brought us all down to the point nothing's worth laughing at anymore? I mean, I really don't know if anyone else feels like this... but I can't be the only one right? Do people need other people to be happy like that? It would explain why I get so cranky out here... though so would being preggers which is a more likely scenario. I was homeschooled and was content with not having very many or really any friends that stuck around, I had my cousins. Which aside from the ones that lived with me, I only hung out with a couple of them maybe once or twice a year and the ones that did live with me were mostly too young, there was only one that was old enough to keep up.

Does adult life(marriage, kids, jobs, bills...etc.) mean I have to sit around and just be content? Does being a married, pregnant, mom mean that I'm not allowed to go out with my friends(Or even have friends for that matter...) and feel like I did in high school? There are limitations yes, of course, like I'm not going to go out with my single friends and hit on guys while pretending I'm not married for the sake of the night. There are lines you just don't cross. But if you don't need to cross those lines to have a good time then what's the problem?

Op, see I was in a rut over this and while writing I came to the conclusion of what my problem is. I was happy, all last year. I wasn't trapped living with my parents, I was finally living somewhere that I was seen as an adult and treated like one. Until someone decided that they had the right to start saying crap behind my back without asking me what the deal was and it spiraled into a story and no one would listen to the actual happenings. I became the bad guy, the one they had to watch because for some reason all the rent I paid, the groceries I bought, the weddings I helped with, the things I went out of my way to do for them became meaningless.

Sure, I can see where they could have gotten the wrong idea. But did they even take the time to listen? Something they pride themselves on doing? No. So now I've gone the completely opposite direction, I've locked myself up. I don't hang out with anyone for fear that if I do I'll be seen(and talked about) as "cheating again". Great. So I have to be a shut in because people I trusted decided to be assholes. People that are admitted to being unfaithful and there's biological proof of that fact! So if you can't be happy, you have to make it seem like everyone is in your shoes so they can't be happy either.

Do they realize that because of the events that I will blog about in detail later on, that I considered getting a divorce? I don't want one, I really don't. But for a while there I felt like all I could do was run away, because they wouldn't listen and everything that came out of their mouths was preachy, biased, hypocritical and in the case of the worst two offenders constant and asinine. Do they know that I think about everything constantly and that I have nightmares because of them? No, and they wouldn't listen even if I told them, because the few times I tried bringing up my defense it came back to bite me in the ass because opinions they had that weren't known to me before it was too late mean more to them than actual facts.