Ooooo, I just wanna punch you in the FACE!

Alright, time for some raging. I think that's about all I do in this blog... hmm, well this is the place for it. Not in the family blog..

Anyways, this rant is about my home life. Not the home I have with Tony, the one I grew up in. Sure shit went on, my family has the tendency to blow up about random stuff... You can tell I'm related to them mainly because like my family, I bottle things up until they explode. I don't get yelling, screaming, stomping around the house angry. No, my anger results in tears. I'm an emotional person lol.

So, something will happen say days, months or even years ago(I'm not exaggerating.) and when someone is fighting with someone else they will start bringing things up from when they were kids or from a month ago when they said something that was either taken out of context. Or the original context was forgotten and completely eschewed in the wrong direction. This happens a lot. Like, for seriously guys. Plus the people in my house have the tendency to either not let go of things/stick their head up their own ass/never grow up... or .... well all of the above. Also, if two people are fighting and you walk into the room... the yelling will switch over to something you've done... either days, weeks, months or even yes, years ago. People wonder why I spend all my time in my room? It's safe and no one can find me.... Of course, if the topic has switched to you and your not in the room... Whoever will come find you. It usually happens on weekends, or days off from school/work. Always when you're sleeping and not ready for a conflict. You will get violent yelling outside your door and if the door is locked, it will be pounded on until opened.

I'm not trying to put my family into a bad light. But this stuff does go on and it gets to the point where sometimes... I don't want to go back. Except, they are blood. And you can't abandon blood. I know it's been done before. But, I'm not going to be like other people in my family and not let things pass as they come.

The thing setting this rant off, is my aunt. I'm not saying any names, but anyone who knows my family will probably have an idea. And I am in just the kind of mood that I don't care if people pass this on to the person I'm ranting about. Seriously. I've really got nothing to lose.

My aunt and my mom have had issues since they were young, I've been told by other aunts and uncles that my aunt thought she was the "princess", until my mom came along. Mind you readers that my mom is number 4 out of nine. So in theory(and common sense would agree), if any of my other uncles or aunts had come along instead of my mom. They would probably have the same damn issues. Anyways, my aunt didn't spare any of her... compassion? On me, because. I am my mothers spawn. My grandma said when I was little my aunt held me up in the air and said "You need discipline!" all the while shaking me. Now I don't remember this. But maybe she's the reason I always have the urge to give the finger to "the man".... Hmmm....

I remember my aunt trying to teach me etiquette.. like setting the table, crossing ankles, no elbows on the table... Meh, weird thing to remember. But that's what I remember most... also one time I had a peanut butter sandwich and grandma was too busy to come pour me some milk... so I had to ask my aunt... she only gave me like... an 1/8 or so of the cup and when I asked for more she wouldn't give me any... so I asked my grandma again and my aunt told her she had filled up the cup half way(LIES) and that I just didn't want my sandwich anymore. So I was forced to eat a PB (Not a PB&J) without any milk... So when I wouldn't cooperate and my aunt went to go get my grandma to punish me... I tore what I had left in half and shoved it down this roll of seran wrap. No one found it until my grandma was cleaning the kitchen... but then I had to clean it up... *shudders*

Back on subject, my aunt is one of those people who like to blame their problems on other people. Most of the time either my mom, or her own 17 year old daughter. Who might I add is the ONLY adult in her immediate family. Her mom is kind of off in her own little la la land, until she isn't around to take care of a problem, usually her 5 little siblings are the cause of whatever it is. Then my cousin gets yelled at because she isn't "helping"... and by helping I mean she isn't doing the parenting job she was apparently spawned for.

So there is my first problem with my aunt, she leaves the parenting to my cousin. (Who does a FAR better job of it than her mother.)

Sure my aunt has had her problems, she had an abusive husband. They are divorced now, but that doesn't keep him from starting shit all the time. And apparently, my aunt can't handle stress... of any kind. Like once, she was studying for a test and the smaller three of her six were causing issues ((One of them is a spoiled brat and he likes to tattle on his little sisters, the other two are like the double duo of mischief. Of course sometimes they aren't doing anything and the tattler just likes to get them in trouble. Cause he's a pain like that and needs attention, that he apparently isn't getting nay other way.)) so she freaked out and started bitching to my grandma and saying how she was never going to pass this test and she was going to fail the class ((Whine whine...)) and rather than get a less than acceptable grade she was going to pack up the kids in the van and run off a cliff.

Mother of the year alert.

Needless to say, sometimes I really think my aunt is crazy. She has stood in the attic window when I've been out front of the house with my friends and glared down at me and whoever I'm with. Of course I've learned to ignore it But my friends know her as my crazy aunt who lives in the attic. Oops, now everyone knows who I'm talking about. What a shame. Her reasoning for not liking my friends? Because she thinks I'm a slut(Even though she has no proof of anything.) that all my friends are sluts. Wow, that's grade A reasoning right there. I have explained this to my friends. Thus: Crazy aunt who lives in the attic.

Now I'm about to say something nice about her, she is a smart person. SO smart in fact, that she can manipulate people.... or she tries... Oops... guess that wasn't so nice...well kinda. She has all this information about stuff like history and our family lineage and she can be pretty cool when talking about that stuff. But I've noticed, especially of late. That if you have an opinion, she will unleash this... I don't even know how to describe it... You could say something innocent on facebook like "I hate change, why does everything have to change?" and she does this thing... like guilt tripping? That will make you feel bad about having that opinion, she'll say something along the lines of "If people were stuck in a constant negative emotion, would you like them to stay that way?" And she does all her... "guilt tripping" in a way that makes her sound like a badly written fortune cookie


Now that I've described her to the readers, I will tell you the exact thing that set me off.

This afternoon a friend of my cousins came to the door, my cousin got permission to go hang out. Well, her mom didn't expect her to be gone so long so she was up bitching to my grandma. My mom heard it, and because of my aunts tendency to bitch about my mom, she went upstairs to hear what it was about. So she heard my aunt telling my grandma that her daughter was turning into her father, rubbing elbows with "the rich" (Her friend happens to be better off then our family... but that's because they don't have twelve "kids" I use that term lightly here, running around...) and only hanging out with her friends and not spending any time at home with her family.

The whole reason for this? My cousin wasn't home at that moment "helping" her mom with her mom's homework... and by helping, I mean she wasn't there doing her moms homework for her. Seriously? Pardon my language, but that's fucking bullshit. My cousin goes to the smart high school, the one directly tied to the university. She's taking classes like math higher than algebra 2... I never made it that far. I hated math, and I went to Mountain View... a non smart people school. I've heard complaints that her grades have been slipping... well shit, I would just stop if I had to do double the damn homework. I'd let my grades go down the toilet... oh wait, I never turned my homework in on time... hmm.... maybe that's why I'm a credit short of getting my diploma...

Anyway my grandma; because I didn't do everything in school "like I should have" is sort of projecting her issues with me and my school stuff onto my cousin. It's not fair. ((My grandma blames her grades on the fact that my cousin has friends, a social life is not to be had in my family. Once you have a social life then you stop doing stuff around the house... hmmm, I wonder why. Maybe because no matter how crazy your friends are... they will never be as crazy as your family...)) Now she's got twice the load. She has to babysit her mom and her siblings.

The fact of the matter is, my cousin just turned 17 and is disgruntled that she's too old for being supported by child support(Which her dad doesn't pay anyways... Father of the year.) and medicaid, but not old enough to be declared an adult, to vote or run off and get married(The last one made me laugh.). But the truth is, when she does turn 18. She's gonna walk out or run away. Whichever comes first. She'll probably end up with me, where ever I'm at and you know what?

No one will be able to get her.
I will not allow her mother visits, we will visit them. If she wants to.

Dear Auntie, you've got your head so far up your own ass that you don't know which way the sun is shining. I suggest you remedy that.