Woah there crazy bitch..... Pt 1

Dear Sheraya,


Here is my side of what happened and my reasoning for not wanting to put up with your crap anymore.



Lets start with the Danee and Alex thing.

You let them make out in the first place. You were the one who needed security and closure in your relationship and needed to know that you would be the only woman in his life. Well. Didn't you fuck up? It doesn’t matter that you say Alex forced you into it, you still gave in.

Alex has told lots of people he doesn't want to marry you and you're too dense to see the signs. With your history of not listening to people when they are trying to tell you things has kind of put us all off of trying to tell you what's been in your best interests. So...

ALEX CHEATED ON YOU!

It doesn't matter if he felt abandoned or need an emotional connection. Guess what?

IT STILL HAPPENED!

That is not something to forgive so easily, especially if you're blaming it all on the other person.

Danee did not tie up your sham of a boyfriend, force feed him ecstasy and Viagra and have her way with him. And if that thought has ever crossed your mind as a legit reason then you are even crazier than we all thought and further into denial than we all realized.



You and Alex had some kind of fight and he "needed emotional comfort" Which he thought he could get from Danee because she has always been nice to him. He started texting her and asking to hang out because he needed someone to talk to. I can only imagine how it ended up like this. But hey, that happened in August, right after you went to school. Hmmm, and didn't I go down in September to see your play? And did I not mention that Alex had been texting her and asking her to make out and things? And what was your reaction? What did you say when I said I had seen the texts? "Oh, we got into a fight and I gave him a month to do whatever her wanted." and I said that this wasn't the first time he had been texting her like that. What did you say next? "We get in a lot of fights." That sounded like a blow off to me. So when someone brings up the fact that I tried to tell you about Alex and you say that I didn't. Just remember that and don't call me a shitty friend. And guess what?

EVERYONE KNEW!

That's what's so sad. No one felt the need to tell you. I wonder why. Maybe because you're a crazy bitch and wouldn't believe anyone but your perfect boyfriend.



"Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken. But you can still see the cracks in that mother fucker’s reflection." - Lady Gaga ~ Telephone Feat. Beyonce.



Ever since Sarah's goodbye party I've been really pissed at you, for your "I'm better than that" attitude. It was your fault anything at all happened, you were the one being an uber fucking bitch and smashing the boys. Then you and Alex were being asses and saying that I couldn’t be left there to baby sit. I may have asked Alex for a favor but if he really regretted it he probably would have told me. He was probably ashamed of you being an ass. Oh, and you are by far the worst babysitter. EVER. Even Sarah thought and still thinks it was bullshit, the way you acted.

So whatever, things cooled down ish. But then it started feeling more and more like you were just walking all over me.

Like when my aunt was convinced that a cop was observing the house because she was being retarded, and I couldn’t be out past ten and then you fucking come home at 1:30am and I almost got grounded. All because you felt it wasn’t fair for you to be home when I had to be because you only get to come up on the weekends and that’s your only time to see your boyfriend. It was just for that weekend, and I told you that. But no. It’s all about you apparently. Or when I worked at the forest and forgot to leave you my room keys, twice. And you bitched, I know you did, about me not coming home one of those nights. But whatever, I was able to pay for California and really now that I look back that’s all you wanted or cared about. Sure Tony and I really wanted to go for obvious reasons, but all you cared about was yourself. Again.



You wanted Tony and I to come along because then you and Alex could act like a couple. Which pretty much went like this :

1 Fight

2 Be pissy

3 Makeup Sex

(Hey, even though Tony and I didn't say anything we felt really awkward when you guys fought and when you kept pressuring him about you guys getting married. Which was like every 20 minutes. Rediculous.)

Yup. Cause that’s what real couples do apparently. Oh, while we’re on the subject. I know you bitched about us getting married. Because our relationship hadn’t progressed as far as yours and Alex’s, and what level would your relationship be on at the moment? The “I’m not in love with her and I can’t break up with her because I’m scared she’ll kill herself, or me, and I won’t have a booty call anymore….” Level? Or wait the “I’m so blindly in love I refuse to see his obvious flaws” level?



Back onto the subject, after California I got sick and because I decided to go home before going to Wal-Mart and getting some meds I didn’t get there in time and the store closed. So I was cranky and sick the day I got married and before I could even take any of my meds you and Sarah came over. That wasn’t a problem, it was the fact that anytime I tried to help or anything you kept shushing me. What the hell? I’m not a bridezilla, and wasn’t that day either. But I do believe telling the bride to be quiet on her wedding day is no fucking bueno.

You may have said that you were just kidding, but even Sarah thought you were being a bitch. So I called Jessie and Danee to come over and help out. Because I knew you would shut the fuck up if they were there. Guess what? It worked. And it’s really funny because Sarah didn’t have a problem with Danee taking the train of my dress out and she was the original and the main maid of honor. You got pissed? You weren’t even going to be in my bridal party because you were planning it and I felt that was fair.

Been a while and..... HE COMES HOME IN...

23 days!!!!! I am sooo excited I cannot even begin to describe. I can't wait to finally sleep next to someone again  and to tell him everything that has happened since he left that I just couldnt describe over letters or our short phone calls.

A little background because if anyone is reading this they are probably thinking I'm a spaz. Well... I am... but that's besides the point!

My husband and I are 19, we were together in one way or another all of senior year and started joking about getting married. It slowly turned serious and in december of 09' we were married (After he proposed in disneyland right after the fireworks. It was absolutely perfect.) eight days later he was shipped to Fort Leonardwood Missouri for basic training.... Lovely way to start out a marriage, I know. ;P But it is now... or will be april in two hours and I will be able to see him in 22 days and bring him home in 23.

Anyways whole strew of things happened while he was... er.... is gone. One of my ex best friends decided to be a crazy psycho bitch and I finally decided that I was done putting up with her. I might post my side of it later on. Almost everyone I know is getting or is married. And everyone is having babies except me.... *pouts* But that's ok. I think I can wait..... maybe.

But not having him here to help me figure out how to handle things has been really hard. Usually I can discuss with him and come up with a solution that doesnt involve my being an uber bitch. (It takes a lot to push me in to uber bitch mode.) But it was easier to let my emotions go and just chill out and go with the flow when he was here. Because whatever descision I made he still loved me and was there to hold me, even when I pissed other people off he would say they deserved it because I'm too nice and never get mad when I need to. And it would all be better, magically. He has that power over me. Even when I'm crying he knows how to make me laugh.... he's an ass about it. But thats ok, I still love him.

Anyways... that's enough for this catch up blog. I am going to wal-mart to get some pistachio ice cream and then I'm going home to hang with my in-laws before going to bed.

He doesn't even leave for 3 months!

I don't know why I'm freaking out now, I mean when he first said he'd been talking to the recruters I cried for about five minutes. But I don't really know why I did that either... no, wait... Yes I do. It's cause I love him and if anything were to happen to him; I'm just not gonna go there. So, what prompted me to make this blog 3 months after he enlisted and 3 months before he goes to bootcamp? Carrie Underwood and her song Just a Dream.

Woke up about 3 hours ago(Anyone else seeing a pattern with 3? Maybe it's just me....) and started lookin' around at some music. Found some Carrie Underwood I hadn't heard... and guess what? It's all my fears wrapped into one depressing song. Beautiful as it may be. It's another wake-up call. Had another one of those a couple nights ago watching 300 with the Fiancee'. The end? When the messenger comes home and gives the necklace to the queen? Yeah, I cried. A lot. He had to hold me and tell, no, promise that nothing like that would ever happen to me. He promised he would never die away from me. Ok, I can live with that. Just all these things popping up, like music and looking through a book of tattoos the other day a pair of dog-tags just like stood out on that page. I've decided that if anything ever does happen to him I'm getting them, on my left shoulder. One will have his information from his tags and the other will have our names and wedding date on it.

That's probably enough for one night.

~109 days left with my man.~