So, tentative plan... We're working on getting an apartment closer to Fort Leonard Wood(We currently live about 20ish minutes away... up a hill... where one side is a cliff and the other a rock wall.) IF we are unable to get this apartment, then I am going home to Utah and getting a storage unit where we will have the army ship everything. BUT! That means I have to make sure the hubby puts his leave packet in ASAP and his request for single soldier housing. Because I will be taking the car with me.
Anyways, on to more important things. In case I have not mentioned it. I am pregnant, I'm probably about 2 and a half-3 months-ish along and I am sicker than a dog. Tricare (the medicare of the military) doesn't kick in for me until the first of November, then I will go in and find out everything and will post verily lol. Despite being sick, I'm really excited! I love kids and babies, and I can't wait. My bestest buddy Danee is going to be the god-mother and she's going to help me raise a hippie baby while Tony is deployed.
Everyone tells Tony it's either going to be a girl or twins. Which he says if it's a girl we're giving it back(I told my Nickie that I'd give it to her lol) and if it's twins one to Danee and one to Nickie. Also if it's triplets(Oh NOES!) then one goes to Paige lol. Ah, I miss my friends and family. And as horrible as it sounds... I kinda hope we don't get the apartment... I really just want to go home.
It's not just homesickness... I really feel like I need to be home for some reason. I just hope, for whatever reason I need to be home doesn't happen while I'm out here.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Things that make me want to punch... something... cute and fluffy.
This is a rant about current events and the gay community. If you don't want to read it then do yourself a favor and navigate away from this page. I do not want any ignorant comments on my page, that includes things like "Well you're obviously biased, wrong, misguided...etc", or "Well my opinion is right because... etc" I don't want to hear or read it.
First off, I hate how people can be so overbearing, needy, complainy, lazy, and can have their heads so far up their own asses they can't see or choose not to see what's in front of them. Or, people so stuck in their over-self-righteous ways that they can't accept other people for who they are. I am talking(mostly) about things happening between the gay community and religion(mainly the LDS church but... I'll get more into that.)
Here's the story, I'm surfing groups on facebook and anyone who knows me knows that if something catches my eyes I will read it. Doesn't matter what, if it's against what I believe or just some stupid rantings of someone. I don't care. But once in a while I will come across gems, like this which I found on an anti-gay group on facebook.
"ugh this is horrible! As old people keep dying off and a younger more educated generation is taking over, the batter against homosexual marriage is starting to go in favor of the opposition! We must stop these young people, they think they know more than older generations because they read fancy books and they read stuff that has to do with science! The only book that should be allowed in schools is the Bible and the Book of Mormon. All of our families will be destroyed if gay marriage is accepted! DESTROYED!! Sodom and Gonorrhea anyone? HELLO?!?!"
That is a direct copy and paste from the group, read it once. Then read it again. I'm not saying which group it was or by whom it was posted. If anyone really wanted to know then they could find it.
The fact of the matter is, people can think whatever they want, pray to whatever deity they choose and raise their spawn to do the same. But when someone is calling my generation "more educated" and then turning around and complaining about what we believe in. I call BS. Sure a lot more of the gay community is coming out of the closet, but I highly doubt the community itself has gotten bigger.
My PERSONAL belief (If you don't want to read it then skip this part.) - People can do whatever they want that makes them happy, as long as they aren't hurting anyone else. I also believe that God (Whoever the true God is, Buddha, Zeus... whatever.) made everyone how they are and that they are meant to be that way for some reason. I think people are born gay(with an attraction to the same sex), but like with everything else they choose to act on it.
My reasoning for this is that I know people, born into the LDS religion. Who wanted and still want nothing more than to serve in the church, mind you they have never ACTED on their attractions. But they are still unable to serve, one of my friends was told he must repent and that if he ever acted on his "impulses" that he would be excommunicated. What? But, before the rest of you ignorant people start getting all upset that "It's the church that's wrong" and blah blah blah, ALL churches think that homosexuality is wrong. Not just the LDS church. So stop picking on the mormons. Yes yes, a lot of them piss me off to no end. Especially the ones I went to school with, but pointing fingers at one group isn't going to get anything solved.
Another thought of mine, why must everything that goes against what one believes be met with anger? I mean sure, I was and still am kinda irritated at the ignorance of people. But why would you kill someone for being gay? Or why would you make fun of them to the point of them committing suicide and later laugh at their funeral and tell their parents they deserved it? (Another experience of mine involving a brother of two of my best gay friends.) Why can't everyone just chill out, smoke a couple blunts and just be fucking happy!?
One more note, what would you do if your best friend or hell, someone in your family came out? Would you treat them differently? Would you still think the same way if they were persecuted? I am proud to say that I am straight with bi-tendencies. I have girl crushes(Even though I am happily married to my husband and am pregnant with his child.). And shit. I have had three relationships with girls. All of whom are my friends. I might have some issues with my own family if they read this. But with all that is going on. I don't really care.
I'm going to address this Boyd K Packer "issue" that everyone has in some respect, I will not address it any other time. Some people have an issue with his talk, and others have an issue with the people that have an issue with his talk. This is a never ending shit storm that will probably still be talked about to our kids. If you ask me, it's really r-tarded. Now me, I am a person without an issue, I just think everyone needs to chill the fuck out and smoke a doobie. Packers talk was obviously about pornography(Not that most people have read it, I have but honestly 99% of the people with the issue have not read it... or they choose to interpret it their way in order to have one more problem with the church.), he only talked about temptations and that people could change their ways or avoid them. HE WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY!! And now there is a group, and I will name this one "WE LOVE YOU - President Boyd K Packer" and some people make me ashamed to lay claim to the fact that I am part of the LDS religion, such as this guy
"Standing up for what is Right is exactly what I would expect from a Man of God. God is Very Pleased with you Brother Packer, God is Pleased. Soon enough the people of this world will reap what they have sowed. For now the Righteous will have to put up with the Wicked." and a reply to his comment, " Isn't it great to be one of the righteous ones?! Oh man, I feel sorry for everyone else who isn't as holy as I"
Yes I thought that they might just be making a sarcastic comment... but scrolling down the wall of this group, there are more comments made by the same people saying basically the same things. I hate the people blindly being all like "I'm going to be save and you're not." When the hell did we all regress back into preschool? Since when is it ok for the adults to start acting like privileged little shits?
Oh this one, this one makes me want to tear my hair out, "Gays, gays the horrible fruit, the more you see, the more you shoot!" What. The Fuck. I HATE people. I hate them so much, I hope that in the new millennium that anyone who has ever said anything like that "in the name of God"... I don't even know what I want to happen. It just frustrates me that I'm going to have to teach my kids never to be like that. It sucks! I hate it!
I'm just sick of all the hate and the negativity and the high and mighty church-goers(Not just LDS). Even though I say hate I don't mean it. I just can't find another word expressing my dislike. Why can't everyone just grow up and keep their ignorance towards other people to themselves? It would save everyone a lot of hassle.
Some links for the people who have luckily stayed out of the loop thus far,
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/event.php?eid=157010880987998
http://gaymormonguy.blogspot.com/2010/10/president-packers-talk-from-gay-mormon.html
http://michaelbronson.blogspot.com/
http://mormonsformarriage.com/?p=299
http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/official-statement/same-gender-attraction
First off, I hate how people can be so overbearing, needy, complainy, lazy, and can have their heads so far up their own asses they can't see or choose not to see what's in front of them. Or, people so stuck in their over-self-righteous ways that they can't accept other people for who they are. I am talking(mostly) about things happening between the gay community and religion(mainly the LDS church but... I'll get more into that.)
Here's the story, I'm surfing groups on facebook and anyone who knows me knows that if something catches my eyes I will read it. Doesn't matter what, if it's against what I believe or just some stupid rantings of someone. I don't care. But once in a while I will come across gems, like this which I found on an anti-gay group on facebook.
"ugh this is horrible! As old people keep dying off and a younger more educated generation is taking over, the batter against homosexual marriage is starting to go in favor of the opposition! We must stop these young people, they think they know more than older generations because they read fancy books and they read stuff that has to do with science! The only book that should be allowed in schools is the Bible and the Book of Mormon. All of our families will be destroyed if gay marriage is accepted! DESTROYED!! Sodom and Gonorrhea anyone? HELLO?!?!"
That is a direct copy and paste from the group, read it once. Then read it again. I'm not saying which group it was or by whom it was posted. If anyone really wanted to know then they could find it.
The fact of the matter is, people can think whatever they want, pray to whatever deity they choose and raise their spawn to do the same. But when someone is calling my generation "more educated" and then turning around and complaining about what we believe in. I call BS. Sure a lot more of the gay community is coming out of the closet, but I highly doubt the community itself has gotten bigger.
My PERSONAL belief (If you don't want to read it then skip this part.) - People can do whatever they want that makes them happy, as long as they aren't hurting anyone else. I also believe that God (Whoever the true God is, Buddha, Zeus... whatever.) made everyone how they are and that they are meant to be that way for some reason. I think people are born gay(with an attraction to the same sex), but like with everything else they choose to act on it.
My reasoning for this is that I know people, born into the LDS religion. Who wanted and still want nothing more than to serve in the church, mind you they have never ACTED on their attractions. But they are still unable to serve, one of my friends was told he must repent and that if he ever acted on his "impulses" that he would be excommunicated. What? But, before the rest of you ignorant people start getting all upset that "It's the church that's wrong" and blah blah blah, ALL churches think that homosexuality is wrong. Not just the LDS church. So stop picking on the mormons. Yes yes, a lot of them piss me off to no end. Especially the ones I went to school with, but pointing fingers at one group isn't going to get anything solved.
Another thought of mine, why must everything that goes against what one believes be met with anger? I mean sure, I was and still am kinda irritated at the ignorance of people. But why would you kill someone for being gay? Or why would you make fun of them to the point of them committing suicide and later laugh at their funeral and tell their parents they deserved it? (Another experience of mine involving a brother of two of my best gay friends.) Why can't everyone just chill out, smoke a couple blunts and just be fucking happy!?
One more note, what would you do if your best friend or hell, someone in your family came out? Would you treat them differently? Would you still think the same way if they were persecuted? I am proud to say that I am straight with bi-tendencies. I have girl crushes(Even though I am happily married to my husband and am pregnant with his child.). And shit. I have had three relationships with girls. All of whom are my friends. I might have some issues with my own family if they read this. But with all that is going on. I don't really care.
I'm going to address this Boyd K Packer "issue" that everyone has in some respect, I will not address it any other time. Some people have an issue with his talk, and others have an issue with the people that have an issue with his talk. This is a never ending shit storm that will probably still be talked about to our kids. If you ask me, it's really r-tarded. Now me, I am a person without an issue, I just think everyone needs to chill the fuck out and smoke a doobie. Packers talk was obviously about pornography(Not that most people have read it, I have but honestly 99% of the people with the issue have not read it... or they choose to interpret it their way in order to have one more problem with the church.), he only talked about temptations and that people could change their ways or avoid them. HE WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY!! And now there is a group, and I will name this one "WE LOVE YOU - President Boyd K Packer" and some people make me ashamed to lay claim to the fact that I am part of the LDS religion, such as this guy
"Standing up for what is Right is exactly what I would expect from a Man of God. God is Very Pleased with you Brother Packer, God is Pleased. Soon enough the people of this world will reap what they have sowed. For now the Righteous will have to put up with the Wicked." and a reply to his comment, " Isn't it great to be one of the righteous ones?! Oh man, I feel sorry for everyone else who isn't as holy as I"
Yes I thought that they might just be making a sarcastic comment... but scrolling down the wall of this group, there are more comments made by the same people saying basically the same things. I hate the people blindly being all like "I'm going to be save and you're not." When the hell did we all regress back into preschool? Since when is it ok for the adults to start acting like privileged little shits?
Oh this one, this one makes me want to tear my hair out, "Gays, gays the horrible fruit, the more you see, the more you shoot!" What. The Fuck. I HATE people. I hate them so much, I hope that in the new millennium that anyone who has ever said anything like that "in the name of God"... I don't even know what I want to happen. It just frustrates me that I'm going to have to teach my kids never to be like that. It sucks! I hate it!
I'm just sick of all the hate and the negativity and the high and mighty church-goers(Not just LDS). Even though I say hate I don't mean it. I just can't find another word expressing my dislike. Why can't everyone just grow up and keep their ignorance towards other people to themselves? It would save everyone a lot of hassle.
Some links for the people who have luckily stayed out of the loop thus far,
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/event.php?eid=157010880987998
http://gaymormonguy.blogspot.com/2010/10/president-packers-talk-from-gay-mormon.html
http://michaelbronson.blogspot.com/
http://mormonsformarriage.com/?p=299
http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/official-statement/same-gender-attraction
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Uh oh, the zest for bitching...
Has left me. Maybe it's just because I'm tired and sick. Maybe it's because I'm content to sit here and eat my pizza hut. Or maybe... I dunno. I just don't care anymore? Yes. That's a good reason lol.
Well, it's been a while. Where to start? I moved to Missouri in May with my husband, we are permanent party(Which means we're stationed here for 3-5 years) Not that that's keeping me from going home soonish. I miss Utah, I miss my family (both sides) and my friends. No matter how dumb they've been while I've been gone.
But I wonder, when is a good time to go home? I mean... it's not like we can save any money while we're renting this stupid house... but I don't want to leave Tony with these next few months being his last here... (He's getting deployed, although I'm not allowed to say when or where.) My original plan was to move home in February, but being pregnant and stressed out is making it harder to be away from home. I just want to pack a few things and let Tony deal with the rest. But, unless I do everything. It doesn't get done. Awesome I know.
I'm thinking November. It's only $183 from here to Utah and if I'm able to find a storage unit then things can move along quicker. As a matter of fact. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going home next month. I will find a storage unit and when The Boys get back from their fieldwork they can supervise the moving of everything else. When Tony comes home for Christmas then he can just leave the car and we can send him back on said greyhound. Sounds simple enough...
Well, it's been a while. Where to start? I moved to Missouri in May with my husband, we are permanent party(Which means we're stationed here for 3-5 years) Not that that's keeping me from going home soonish. I miss Utah, I miss my family (both sides) and my friends. No matter how dumb they've been while I've been gone.
But I wonder, when is a good time to go home? I mean... it's not like we can save any money while we're renting this stupid house... but I don't want to leave Tony with these next few months being his last here... (He's getting deployed, although I'm not allowed to say when or where.) My original plan was to move home in February, but being pregnant and stressed out is making it harder to be away from home. I just want to pack a few things and let Tony deal with the rest. But, unless I do everything. It doesn't get done. Awesome I know.
I'm thinking November. It's only $183 from here to Utah and if I'm able to find a storage unit then things can move along quicker. As a matter of fact. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going home next month. I will find a storage unit and when The Boys get back from their fieldwork they can supervise the moving of everything else. When Tony comes home for Christmas then he can just leave the car and we can send him back on said greyhound. Sounds simple enough...
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Because.... (Miley Cyrus rating)
So I was going to finish that crazy bitch rant, but the phone I had all the texts saved on died, and because I no longer live at home in "good"ol' Utah I can't charge it. But when I do I will finish the three part epic rant blog.
So for now I'm on to more pressing matters.
Gossip (Or what I call bitching with an opinion attached.)
Most talked about rumors... and other things.
Lady gaga: Is secretly a man/has a penis/has admitted to having a penis, sings like a man/looks like a man/..... yeah pretty much you've heard them all.
Miley Cyrus: Is turning into a slut and her father isn't doing anything to stop it.....
Justin Beiber: Is 13!!!!!!
Twilight suckzzzzzzz!!!!!!!11111!!!!111 my balz1!
Some of these I find entertaining. And in the forums I sometimes like to go to the lady gaga section or what have you and read the idiocy. I have only posted my opinion three times because as much as I love reading the trolls and flamers I don't believe in fueling them. I have finally however become bored enough to post my opinion online.
Dear Miley Cyrus, you are still underage. Wait to send those topless pics to your 21 year old boyfriend for another year. If he really loves your religious babble and need to rebel against said religion then he will wait to see your boobies. But if you insist, we've already seen your cooter... what three times now?
Your father is using you to boost his career because of his midlife crisis, have fun being an unwed mother in a couple years.
~Me
So I have been reading about some music award show where she was wearing black leather and some white thing... so naturally my inner costumer came out and I had to find pictures
<~~~~White thing? Not so bad, I like the leg band and the heels are interesting.
Wait... is that Madonna's vagina? ~~~>
Actually that's not too bad, kinda Gaga-ish... but everyone is trying to be Gaga.. even Christina Aguiliera *Shudders*
Hmm.... a nice close up Holy shit! It's gone rabid!!!!
Below: The true face of horror. Oh well, at least they put something there to keep her from eating poor little Justin Bieber... of course she could just go over it... Wonder what would happen if...
Oh noes!!!!!! Run little Canadian boy run!!!! She seems so proud of herself.....
Ahem, I think that about covers the white thing... now how about that leather?
What? Is that it? Hmm, sexy.
O. I. C. I like it though. Borders on Gaga... but still.
Wait.... Is that the funky chicken? Maybe I should watch TV more often.... or maybe I shouldn't....
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! JUSTIN!!!!!
Anyways, just thought someone would enjoy those snapshots.
Sure these outfits are a far cry from her booty shorts... wait... she doesn't really have a booty... can I still call them that?
Oh whatever. Her first "skanky" outfit from Party in the U.S.A... Oi.
Do I think she's a skank? Nah, not really. Blame the parents... and Disney. This would have never happened if they had kept So Weird and Even Stevens running. If she wants to present herself this way then let her have at it. Worst case scenario: She shaves all her hair off and has like twenty kids.
Although I will admit I hate listening to her live and she is a horrible actor. I enjoy some of her songs (but would never spend money on any of her merchandise... including music.)
Overall rating 2/10 (Because whoever is running her costumes is magic... I just with they weren't on her.)
So for now I'm on to more pressing matters.
Gossip (Or what I call bitching with an opinion attached.)
Most talked about rumors... and other things.
Lady gaga: Is secretly a man/has a penis/has admitted to having a penis, sings like a man/looks like a man/..... yeah pretty much you've heard them all.
Miley Cyrus: Is turning into a slut and her father isn't doing anything to stop it.....
Justin Beiber: Is 13!!!!!!
Twilight suckzzzzzzz!!!!!!!11111!!!!111 my balz1!
Some of these I find entertaining. And in the forums I sometimes like to go to the lady gaga section or what have you and read the idiocy. I have only posted my opinion three times because as much as I love reading the trolls and flamers I don't believe in fueling them. I have finally however become bored enough to post my opinion online.
Dear Miley Cyrus, you are still underage. Wait to send those topless pics to your 21 year old boyfriend for another year. If he really loves your religious babble and need to rebel against said religion then he will wait to see your boobies. But if you insist, we've already seen your cooter... what three times now?
Your father is using you to boost his career because of his midlife crisis, have fun being an unwed mother in a couple years.
~Me
So I have been reading about some music award show where she was wearing black leather and some white thing... so naturally my inner costumer came out and I had to find pictures
<~~~~White thing? Not so bad, I like the leg band and the heels are interesting.
Below: The true face of horror. Oh well, at least they put something there to keep her from eating poor little Justin Bieber... of course she could just go over it... Wonder what would happen if...
Oh noes!!!!!! Run little Canadian boy run!!!! She seems so proud of herself.....
Ahem, I think that about covers the white thing... now how about that leather?
O. I. C. I like it though. Borders on Gaga... but still.
Wait.... Is that the funky chicken? Maybe I should watch TV more often.... or maybe I shouldn't....
Anyways, just thought someone would enjoy those snapshots.
Sure these outfits are a far cry from her booty shorts... wait... she doesn't really have a booty... can I still call them that?
Oh whatever. Her first "skanky" outfit from Party in the U.S.A... Oi.
Do I think she's a skank? Nah, not really. Blame the parents... and Disney. This would have never happened if they had kept So Weird and Even Stevens running. If she wants to present herself this way then let her have at it. Worst case scenario: She shaves all her hair off and has like twenty kids.
Although I will admit I hate listening to her live and she is a horrible actor. I enjoy some of her songs (but would never spend money on any of her merchandise... including music.)
Overall rating 2/10 (Because whoever is running her costumes is magic... I just with they weren't on her.)
Friday, May 14, 2010
Woah there crazy bitch..... Pt 1
Dear Sheraya,
Here is my side of what happened and my reasoning for not wanting to put up with your crap anymore.
Lets start with the Danee and Alex thing.
You let them make out in the first place. You were the one who needed security and closure in your relationship and needed to know that you would be the only woman in his life. Well. Didn't you fuck up? It doesn’t matter that you say Alex forced you into it, you still gave in.
Alex has told lots of people he doesn't want to marry you and you're too dense to see the signs. With your history of not listening to people when they are trying to tell you things has kind of put us all off of trying to tell you what's been in your best interests. So...
ALEX CHEATED ON YOU!
It doesn't matter if he felt abandoned or need an emotional connection. Guess what?
IT STILL HAPPENED!
That is not something to forgive so easily, especially if you're blaming it all on the other person.
Danee did not tie up your sham of a boyfriend, force feed him ecstasy and Viagra and have her way with him. And if that thought has ever crossed your mind as a legit reason then you are even crazier than we all thought and further into denial than we all realized.
You and Alex had some kind of fight and he "needed emotional comfort" Which he thought he could get from Danee because she has always been nice to him. He started texting her and asking to hang out because he needed someone to talk to. I can only imagine how it ended up like this. But hey, that happened in August, right after you went to school. Hmmm, and didn't I go down in September to see your play? And did I not mention that Alex had been texting her and asking her to make out and things? And what was your reaction? What did you say when I said I had seen the texts? "Oh, we got into a fight and I gave him a month to do whatever her wanted." and I said that this wasn't the first time he had been texting her like that. What did you say next? "We get in a lot of fights." That sounded like a blow off to me. So when someone brings up the fact that I tried to tell you about Alex and you say that I didn't. Just remember that and don't call me a shitty friend. And guess what?
EVERYONE KNEW!
That's what's so sad. No one felt the need to tell you. I wonder why. Maybe because you're a crazy bitch and wouldn't believe anyone but your perfect boyfriend.
"Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken. But you can still see the cracks in that mother fucker’s reflection." - Lady Gaga ~ Telephone Feat. Beyonce.
Ever since Sarah's goodbye party I've been really pissed at you, for your "I'm better than that" attitude. It was your fault anything at all happened, you were the one being an uber fucking bitch and smashing the boys. Then you and Alex were being asses and saying that I couldn’t be left there to baby sit. I may have asked Alex for a favor but if he really regretted it he probably would have told me. He was probably ashamed of you being an ass. Oh, and you are by far the worst babysitter. EVER. Even Sarah thought and still thinks it was bullshit, the way you acted.
So whatever, things cooled down ish. But then it started feeling more and more like you were just walking all over me.
Like when my aunt was convinced that a cop was observing the house because she was being retarded, and I couldn’t be out past ten and then you fucking come home at 1:30am and I almost got grounded. All because you felt it wasn’t fair for you to be home when I had to be because you only get to come up on the weekends and that’s your only time to see your boyfriend. It was just for that weekend, and I told you that. But no. It’s all about you apparently. Or when I worked at the forest and forgot to leave you my room keys, twice. And you bitched, I know you did, about me not coming home one of those nights. But whatever, I was able to pay for California and really now that I look back that’s all you wanted or cared about. Sure Tony and I really wanted to go for obvious reasons, but all you cared about was yourself. Again.
You wanted Tony and I to come along because then you and Alex could act like a couple. Which pretty much went like this :
1 Fight
2 Be pissy
3 Makeup Sex
(Hey, even though Tony and I didn't say anything we felt really awkward when you guys fought and when you kept pressuring him about you guys getting married. Which was like every 20 minutes. Rediculous.)
Yup. Cause that’s what real couples do apparently. Oh, while we’re on the subject. I know you bitched about us getting married. Because our relationship hadn’t progressed as far as yours and Alex’s, and what level would your relationship be on at the moment? The “I’m not in love with her and I can’t break up with her because I’m scared she’ll kill herself, or me, and I won’t have a booty call anymore….” Level? Or wait the “I’m so blindly in love I refuse to see his obvious flaws” level?
Back onto the subject, after California I got sick and because I decided to go home before going to Wal-Mart and getting some meds I didn’t get there in time and the store closed. So I was cranky and sick the day I got married and before I could even take any of my meds you and Sarah came over. That wasn’t a problem, it was the fact that anytime I tried to help or anything you kept shushing me. What the hell? I’m not a bridezilla, and wasn’t that day either. But I do believe telling the bride to be quiet on her wedding day is no fucking bueno.
You may have said that you were just kidding, but even Sarah thought you were being a bitch. So I called Jessie and Danee to come over and help out. Because I knew you would shut the fuck up if they were there. Guess what? It worked. And it’s really funny because Sarah didn’t have a problem with Danee taking the train of my dress out and she was the original and the main maid of honor. You got pissed? You weren’t even going to be in my bridal party because you were planning it and I felt that was fair.
Here is my side of what happened and my reasoning for not wanting to put up with your crap anymore.
Lets start with the Danee and Alex thing.
You let them make out in the first place. You were the one who needed security and closure in your relationship and needed to know that you would be the only woman in his life. Well. Didn't you fuck up? It doesn’t matter that you say Alex forced you into it, you still gave in.
Alex has told lots of people he doesn't want to marry you and you're too dense to see the signs. With your history of not listening to people when they are trying to tell you things has kind of put us all off of trying to tell you what's been in your best interests. So...
ALEX CHEATED ON YOU!
It doesn't matter if he felt abandoned or need an emotional connection. Guess what?
IT STILL HAPPENED!
That is not something to forgive so easily, especially if you're blaming it all on the other person.
Danee did not tie up your sham of a boyfriend, force feed him ecstasy and Viagra and have her way with him. And if that thought has ever crossed your mind as a legit reason then you are even crazier than we all thought and further into denial than we all realized.
You and Alex had some kind of fight and he "needed emotional comfort" Which he thought he could get from Danee because she has always been nice to him. He started texting her and asking to hang out because he needed someone to talk to. I can only imagine how it ended up like this. But hey, that happened in August, right after you went to school. Hmmm, and didn't I go down in September to see your play? And did I not mention that Alex had been texting her and asking her to make out and things? And what was your reaction? What did you say when I said I had seen the texts? "Oh, we got into a fight and I gave him a month to do whatever her wanted." and I said that this wasn't the first time he had been texting her like that. What did you say next? "We get in a lot of fights." That sounded like a blow off to me. So when someone brings up the fact that I tried to tell you about Alex and you say that I didn't. Just remember that and don't call me a shitty friend. And guess what?
EVERYONE KNEW!
That's what's so sad. No one felt the need to tell you. I wonder why. Maybe because you're a crazy bitch and wouldn't believe anyone but your perfect boyfriend.
"Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken. But you can still see the cracks in that mother fucker’s reflection." - Lady Gaga ~ Telephone Feat. Beyonce.
Ever since Sarah's goodbye party I've been really pissed at you, for your "I'm better than that" attitude. It was your fault anything at all happened, you were the one being an uber fucking bitch and smashing the boys. Then you and Alex were being asses and saying that I couldn’t be left there to baby sit. I may have asked Alex for a favor but if he really regretted it he probably would have told me. He was probably ashamed of you being an ass. Oh, and you are by far the worst babysitter. EVER. Even Sarah thought and still thinks it was bullshit, the way you acted.
So whatever, things cooled down ish. But then it started feeling more and more like you were just walking all over me.
Like when my aunt was convinced that a cop was observing the house because she was being retarded, and I couldn’t be out past ten and then you fucking come home at 1:30am and I almost got grounded. All because you felt it wasn’t fair for you to be home when I had to be because you only get to come up on the weekends and that’s your only time to see your boyfriend. It was just for that weekend, and I told you that. But no. It’s all about you apparently. Or when I worked at the forest and forgot to leave you my room keys, twice. And you bitched, I know you did, about me not coming home one of those nights. But whatever, I was able to pay for California and really now that I look back that’s all you wanted or cared about. Sure Tony and I really wanted to go for obvious reasons, but all you cared about was yourself. Again.
You wanted Tony and I to come along because then you and Alex could act like a couple. Which pretty much went like this :
1 Fight
2 Be pissy
3 Makeup Sex
(Hey, even though Tony and I didn't say anything we felt really awkward when you guys fought and when you kept pressuring him about you guys getting married. Which was like every 20 minutes. Rediculous.)
Yup. Cause that’s what real couples do apparently. Oh, while we’re on the subject. I know you bitched about us getting married. Because our relationship hadn’t progressed as far as yours and Alex’s, and what level would your relationship be on at the moment? The “I’m not in love with her and I can’t break up with her because I’m scared she’ll kill herself, or me, and I won’t have a booty call anymore….” Level? Or wait the “I’m so blindly in love I refuse to see his obvious flaws” level?
Back onto the subject, after California I got sick and because I decided to go home before going to Wal-Mart and getting some meds I didn’t get there in time and the store closed. So I was cranky and sick the day I got married and before I could even take any of my meds you and Sarah came over. That wasn’t a problem, it was the fact that anytime I tried to help or anything you kept shushing me. What the hell? I’m not a bridezilla, and wasn’t that day either. But I do believe telling the bride to be quiet on her wedding day is no fucking bueno.
You may have said that you were just kidding, but even Sarah thought you were being a bitch. So I called Jessie and Danee to come over and help out. Because I knew you would shut the fuck up if they were there. Guess what? It worked. And it’s really funny because Sarah didn’t have a problem with Danee taking the train of my dress out and she was the original and the main maid of honor. You got pissed? You weren’t even going to be in my bridal party because you were planning it and I felt that was fair.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Been a while and..... HE COMES HOME IN...
23 days!!!!! I am sooo excited I cannot even begin to describe. I can't wait to finally sleep next to someone again and to tell him everything that has happened since he left that I just couldnt describe over letters or our short phone calls.
A little background because if anyone is reading this they are probably thinking I'm a spaz. Well... I am... but that's besides the point!
My husband and I are 19, we were together in one way or another all of senior year and started joking about getting married. It slowly turned serious and in december of 09' we were married (After he proposed in disneyland right after the fireworks. It was absolutely perfect.) eight days later he was shipped to Fort Leonardwood Missouri for basic training.... Lovely way to start out a marriage, I know. ;P But it is now... or will be april in two hours and I will be able to see him in 22 days and bring him home in 23.
Anyways whole strew of things happened while he was... er.... is gone. One of my ex best friends decided to be a crazy psycho bitch and I finally decided that I was done putting up with her. I might post my side of it later on. Almost everyone I know is getting or is married. And everyone is having babies except me.... *pouts* But that's ok. I think I can wait..... maybe.
But not having him here to help me figure out how to handle things has been really hard. Usually I can discuss with him and come up with a solution that doesnt involve my being an uber bitch. (It takes a lot to push me in to uber bitch mode.) But it was easier to let my emotions go and just chill out and go with the flow when he was here. Because whatever descision I made he still loved me and was there to hold me, even when I pissed other people off he would say they deserved it because I'm too nice and never get mad when I need to. And it would all be better, magically. He has that power over me. Even when I'm crying he knows how to make me laugh.... he's an ass about it. But thats ok, I still love him.
Anyways... that's enough for this catch up blog. I am going to wal-mart to get some pistachio ice cream and then I'm going home to hang with my in-laws before going to bed.
A little background because if anyone is reading this they are probably thinking I'm a spaz. Well... I am... but that's besides the point!
My husband and I are 19, we were together in one way or another all of senior year and started joking about getting married. It slowly turned serious and in december of 09' we were married (After he proposed in disneyland right after the fireworks. It was absolutely perfect.) eight days later he was shipped to Fort Leonardwood Missouri for basic training.... Lovely way to start out a marriage, I know. ;P But it is now... or will be april in two hours and I will be able to see him in 22 days and bring him home in 23.
Anyways whole strew of things happened while he was... er.... is gone. One of my ex best friends decided to be a crazy psycho bitch and I finally decided that I was done putting up with her. I might post my side of it later on. Almost everyone I know is getting or is married. And everyone is having babies except me.... *pouts* But that's ok. I think I can wait..... maybe.
But not having him here to help me figure out how to handle things has been really hard. Usually I can discuss with him and come up with a solution that doesnt involve my being an uber bitch. (It takes a lot to push me in to uber bitch mode.) But it was easier to let my emotions go and just chill out and go with the flow when he was here. Because whatever descision I made he still loved me and was there to hold me, even when I pissed other people off he would say they deserved it because I'm too nice and never get mad when I need to. And it would all be better, magically. He has that power over me. Even when I'm crying he knows how to make me laugh.... he's an ass about it. But thats ok, I still love him.
Anyways... that's enough for this catch up blog. I am going to wal-mart to get some pistachio ice cream and then I'm going home to hang with my in-laws before going to bed.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
He doesn't even leave for 3 months!
I don't know why I'm freaking out now, I mean when he first said he'd been talking to the recruters I cried for about five minutes. But I don't really know why I did that either... no, wait... Yes I do. It's cause I love him and if anything were to happen to him; I'm just not gonna go there. So, what prompted me to make this blog 3 months after he enlisted and 3 months before he goes to bootcamp? Carrie Underwood and her song Just a Dream.
Woke up about 3 hours ago(Anyone else seeing a pattern with 3? Maybe it's just me....) and started lookin' around at some music. Found some Carrie Underwood I hadn't heard... and guess what? It's all my fears wrapped into one depressing song. Beautiful as it may be. It's another wake-up call. Had another one of those a couple nights ago watching 300 with the Fiancee'. The end? When the messenger comes home and gives the necklace to the queen? Yeah, I cried. A lot. He had to hold me and tell, no, promise that nothing like that would ever happen to me. He promised he would never die away from me. Ok, I can live with that. Just all these things popping up, like music and looking through a book of tattoos the other day a pair of dog-tags just like stood out on that page. I've decided that if anything ever does happen to him I'm getting them, on my left shoulder. One will have his information from his tags and the other will have our names and wedding date on it.
That's probably enough for one night.
~109 days left with my man.~
Woke up about 3 hours ago(Anyone else seeing a pattern with 3? Maybe it's just me....) and started lookin' around at some music. Found some Carrie Underwood I hadn't heard... and guess what? It's all my fears wrapped into one depressing song. Beautiful as it may be. It's another wake-up call. Had another one of those a couple nights ago watching 300 with the Fiancee'. The end? When the messenger comes home and gives the necklace to the queen? Yeah, I cried. A lot. He had to hold me and tell, no, promise that nothing like that would ever happen to me. He promised he would never die away from me. Ok, I can live with that. Just all these things popping up, like music and looking through a book of tattoos the other day a pair of dog-tags just like stood out on that page. I've decided that if anything ever does happen to him I'm getting them, on my left shoulder. One will have his information from his tags and the other will have our names and wedding date on it.
That's probably enough for one night.
~109 days left with my man.~
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