Ooooo, I just wanna punch you in the FACE!

Alright, time for some raging. I think that's about all I do in this blog... hmm, well this is the place for it. Not in the family blog..

Anyways, this rant is about my home life. Not the home I have with Tony, the one I grew up in. Sure shit went on, my family has the tendency to blow up about random stuff... You can tell I'm related to them mainly because like my family, I bottle things up until they explode. I don't get yelling, screaming, stomping around the house angry. No, my anger results in tears. I'm an emotional person lol.

So, something will happen say days, months or even years ago(I'm not exaggerating.) and when someone is fighting with someone else they will start bringing things up from when they were kids or from a month ago when they said something that was either taken out of context. Or the original context was forgotten and completely eschewed in the wrong direction. This happens a lot. Like, for seriously guys. Plus the people in my house have the tendency to either not let go of things/stick their head up their own ass/never grow up... or .... well all of the above. Also, if two people are fighting and you walk into the room... the yelling will switch over to something you've done... either days, weeks, months or even yes, years ago. People wonder why I spend all my time in my room? It's safe and no one can find me.... Of course, if the topic has switched to you and your not in the room... Whoever will come find you. It usually happens on weekends, or days off from school/work. Always when you're sleeping and not ready for a conflict. You will get violent yelling outside your door and if the door is locked, it will be pounded on until opened.

I'm not trying to put my family into a bad light. But this stuff does go on and it gets to the point where sometimes... I don't want to go back. Except, they are blood. And you can't abandon blood. I know it's been done before. But, I'm not going to be like other people in my family and not let things pass as they come.

The thing setting this rant off, is my aunt. I'm not saying any names, but anyone who knows my family will probably have an idea. And I am in just the kind of mood that I don't care if people pass this on to the person I'm ranting about. Seriously. I've really got nothing to lose.

My aunt and my mom have had issues since they were young, I've been told by other aunts and uncles that my aunt thought she was the "princess", until my mom came along. Mind you readers that my mom is number 4 out of nine. So in theory(and common sense would agree), if any of my other uncles or aunts had come along instead of my mom. They would probably have the same damn issues. Anyways, my aunt didn't spare any of her... compassion? On me, because. I am my mothers spawn. My grandma said when I was little my aunt held me up in the air and said "You need discipline!" all the while shaking me. Now I don't remember this. But maybe she's the reason I always have the urge to give the finger to "the man".... Hmmm....

I remember my aunt trying to teach me etiquette.. like setting the table, crossing ankles, no elbows on the table... Meh, weird thing to remember. But that's what I remember most... also one time I had a peanut butter sandwich and grandma was too busy to come pour me some milk... so I had to ask my aunt... she only gave me like... an 1/8 or so of the cup and when I asked for more she wouldn't give me any... so I asked my grandma again and my aunt told her she had filled up the cup half way(LIES) and that I just didn't want my sandwich anymore. So I was forced to eat a PB (Not a PB&J) without any milk... So when I wouldn't cooperate and my aunt went to go get my grandma to punish me... I tore what I had left in half and shoved it down this roll of seran wrap. No one found it until my grandma was cleaning the kitchen... but then I had to clean it up... *shudders*

Back on subject, my aunt is one of those people who like to blame their problems on other people. Most of the time either my mom, or her own 17 year old daughter. Who might I add is the ONLY adult in her immediate family. Her mom is kind of off in her own little la la land, until she isn't around to take care of a problem, usually her 5 little siblings are the cause of whatever it is. Then my cousin gets yelled at because she isn't "helping"... and by helping I mean she isn't doing the parenting job she was apparently spawned for.

So there is my first problem with my aunt, she leaves the parenting to my cousin. (Who does a FAR better job of it than her mother.)

Sure my aunt has had her problems, she had an abusive husband. They are divorced now, but that doesn't keep him from starting shit all the time. And apparently, my aunt can't handle stress... of any kind. Like once, she was studying for a test and the smaller three of her six were causing issues ((One of them is a spoiled brat and he likes to tattle on his little sisters, the other two are like the double duo of mischief. Of course sometimes they aren't doing anything and the tattler just likes to get them in trouble. Cause he's a pain like that and needs attention, that he apparently isn't getting nay other way.)) so she freaked out and started bitching to my grandma and saying how she was never going to pass this test and she was going to fail the class ((Whine whine...)) and rather than get a less than acceptable grade she was going to pack up the kids in the van and run off a cliff.

Mother of the year alert.

Needless to say, sometimes I really think my aunt is crazy. She has stood in the attic window when I've been out front of the house with my friends and glared down at me and whoever I'm with. Of course I've learned to ignore it But my friends know her as my crazy aunt who lives in the attic. Oops, now everyone knows who I'm talking about. What a shame. Her reasoning for not liking my friends? Because she thinks I'm a slut(Even though she has no proof of anything.) that all my friends are sluts. Wow, that's grade A reasoning right there. I have explained this to my friends. Thus: Crazy aunt who lives in the attic.

Now I'm about to say something nice about her, she is a smart person. SO smart in fact, that she can manipulate people.... or she tries... Oops... guess that wasn't so nice...well kinda. She has all this information about stuff like history and our family lineage and she can be pretty cool when talking about that stuff. But I've noticed, especially of late. That if you have an opinion, she will unleash this... I don't even know how to describe it... You could say something innocent on facebook like "I hate change, why does everything have to change?" and she does this thing... like guilt tripping? That will make you feel bad about having that opinion, she'll say something along the lines of "If people were stuck in a constant negative emotion, would you like them to stay that way?" And she does all her... "guilt tripping" in a way that makes her sound like a badly written fortune cookie


Now that I've described her to the readers, I will tell you the exact thing that set me off.

This afternoon a friend of my cousins came to the door, my cousin got permission to go hang out. Well, her mom didn't expect her to be gone so long so she was up bitching to my grandma. My mom heard it, and because of my aunts tendency to bitch about my mom, she went upstairs to hear what it was about. So she heard my aunt telling my grandma that her daughter was turning into her father, rubbing elbows with "the rich" (Her friend happens to be better off then our family... but that's because they don't have twelve "kids" I use that term lightly here, running around...) and only hanging out with her friends and not spending any time at home with her family.

The whole reason for this? My cousin wasn't home at that moment "helping" her mom with her mom's homework... and by helping, I mean she wasn't there doing her moms homework for her. Seriously? Pardon my language, but that's fucking bullshit. My cousin goes to the smart high school, the one directly tied to the university. She's taking classes like math higher than algebra 2... I never made it that far. I hated math, and I went to Mountain View... a non smart people school. I've heard complaints that her grades have been slipping... well shit, I would just stop if I had to do double the damn homework. I'd let my grades go down the toilet... oh wait, I never turned my homework in on time... hmm.... maybe that's why I'm a credit short of getting my diploma...

Anyway my grandma; because I didn't do everything in school "like I should have" is sort of projecting her issues with me and my school stuff onto my cousin. It's not fair. ((My grandma blames her grades on the fact that my cousin has friends, a social life is not to be had in my family. Once you have a social life then you stop doing stuff around the house... hmmm, I wonder why. Maybe because no matter how crazy your friends are... they will never be as crazy as your family...)) Now she's got twice the load. She has to babysit her mom and her siblings.

The fact of the matter is, my cousin just turned 17 and is disgruntled that she's too old for being supported by child support(Which her dad doesn't pay anyways... Father of the year.) and medicaid, but not old enough to be declared an adult, to vote or run off and get married(The last one made me laugh.). But the truth is, when she does turn 18. She's gonna walk out or run away. Whichever comes first. She'll probably end up with me, where ever I'm at and you know what?

No one will be able to get her.
I will not allow her mother visits, we will visit them. If she wants to.

Dear Auntie, you've got your head so far up your own ass that you don't know which way the sun is shining. I suggest you remedy that.

Random things about me that I didn't want to post on facebook...

In response to the recent "random things" wave, here's mine. Feel free to do your own if you want, or don't. If you do one, I'd like to be tagged though, just to know of your randomness.

1. I'm really lazy when it comes to talking to people, I would rather text than call and stalk their facebook/blog then message them.
2. Along with above, if I haven't met the person face to face before I hate talking to them on the phone... I always think they'll think I'm weird or get mad at me.
3.I love role playing. Not DnD or WoW. I go to forums and write responses.
4.I was a HUGE anime nerd before I started 9th grade/school in general. It was my life and the characters were my friends.
5.When I started public school I didn't really try to make any friends at first. I sat back and observed what would be socially acceptable, then I slowly started in with things me and the people around me had in common. Eventually I let out weird little habits and quirks that people know me for today.
6. I love people but am afraid of what they are capable.
7. I get attached WAY to easily to fictional characters, I cry when they are in emotional distress or when they die, I get super fidgety when it's intense and I talk back to the screen a lot.
8. I love people who know random facts about random stuff. I also love reading random articles on random stuff(Cracked is my best friend.)
9.I get down on myself for a lot of stuff, even though during high school I was usually all smiles and funny it was different when I was alone. That's why I spent so much time at the school.
10. I hated drama and acting in general after 9th grade because I thought you had to be the teachers pet like Sheraya to get anywhere. But Criman changed that, for the most part.
11. I don't hate drama now, but I still think there is a certain amount of sucking up you have to do to get a decent part which is why I stopped trying halfway during senior year and haven't bothered trying out for anything.
12. I don't get annoyed with people very often, if I'm annoyed with you or someone, they probably aren't on my friends list and when I talk to them I'm often having either a second conversation with you in my head telling you off for whatever reason you bother me or I'm picturing several outcomes of me doing various things to your face with my fist.
13. I can't be outwardly angry, I can be severely annoyed. But anger comes out as tears. So if I'm crying I'm either angry or sad. Either way I'm gonna blubber for a while.
14. I hate people that complain about the same thing. Even if it's months later just to complain about something. Like a toe/foot you broke months ago and never got it taken care of so now when you're feeling lazy you "break/sprain" it again. Or people that tell stories. I don't mind stories the first or even second time. But if I'm finishing your story, don't try to tell it to me a couple days later.
15. I am very protective of my friends. You can tell who they are because if two of my friends date and one of them ends up on my shit list, that means the person SCREWED up. And forget ever trying to regain my trust.
16. I love pizza, panda express fried rice and orange chicken, in n out animal style and sushi so much that I cried when I realized that these foods are back in Utah and I am stuck here with Churches Chicken...
17. I believe the military has ruined my hubby's tolerance as well as his hair. I will never forgive them.
18. There was a time when I wanted to join the military, I dressed in all camo and wore it to school.
19.I have a love for all things Camo and plaid. If that makes me manly then so be it.
20. I make faces in practically all my pictures and I hate it lol.
21. Juno and UP are the two movies I can watch every day and they still make me a sobbing mess.
22. When someone I don't like has something bad happen to them... I secretly give whatever higher power there may be a high five...
23. Even though all my problems were in high school I still miss it terribly and wish desperately I could go back to being a Sophomore.
24. I look back at old pictures of friends and cry at how much they've changed since I met them in high school.
25. There is one person I wish I could turn it all back for.
 26. I have only called two people my "best" friends. I'm afraid to put anyone else into that category because the one I have left that does talk to me does marijuana(And I feel guilty for some reason knowing nothing I did could make her stop.) and the other one barely talks to me since she went to college, she couldn't even put aside work when she was in town to see me.
27. I just realized I'm kinda depressing, lol.

My Personality... An Off Topic Rant on everything.

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about people. How their families interact and things I think have shaped my friends into what they are. But what the hell shaped me? The way I see myself is that I don't care if other people like it, if I think it's cool then so be it. But I see all these other people(not always people I know mind you) that freak out about something or freak out about the same thing over and over again... and I don't see the point. I think everyone should just go with the flow and be chill.

Some of the things that brought this train of thought on were,

T.V/Movies/Books~

Glee~ People freak out about Gweneth Paltrow being on Glee, I personally have no problem with her. I loved her character and her singing. I still don't see a problem with it. But people complaining about Glee in general bringing on guest stars or bringing new characters/plot lines. I see the same complaints over and over and I can't help but ask why? Why is it such a big deal? It already happened.Nothing you whine about is going to turn back time. I personally love everything about this show, I may not put every song on my ipod but I still like the diversity of the music. This is the one thing Sheraya has my ongoing thanks for introducing me to the show.

Avatar The Last Airbender~ The only thing I heard people bitching about for this movie were the names, really. Anytime I read reviews or even my friends telling me about it, their first reason was always "He screwed up the names." and even before I saw it I would ask how M Knight managed to do that, then I would get a big drawn out thing about Aang being pronounced Ong. I can't stress enough how stupid of a complaint I think this is, he didn't change the names. He used the PROPER pronunciation for them. Avatar is not an anime as much as I have heard this argument. Anime is the shortened name for Japanamation. Avatar is not in any way shape or form made in Japan. Therefore it is a cartoon, an American made cartoon and as Americans you may not know this. But, we tend to not know how to pronounce things the right way. Cry about it. I personally loved the movie and didn't regret buying it. Of course I must also point out that I have not seen the entire series *gasp!* I have seen probably five or so episodes of each book. I intend to watch the series but until I have the  time and the means to do so. I will happily watch my movie.

Ok, I'm probably gonna get shit for this one...
Twilight~ Oh ho ho, if you're gonna comment on "How bad this writing sucks, Edward is abusive and Bella is a stupid whore BAWWWWWWW" You can stop reading right there and get the fuck outta my space. There, did I weed all the whiners out? Anyways, I like these books. I haven't bothered to re-read them since the movies came out. But that really shouldn't matter. Yes the dialogue was... cheesy, some of the word choices mehhh, iffy. But all in all, the books made me laugh, cry and throw them across the room various times. I was one of those "No Edward why did you leave!? BAWWWWW, No Bella! You have to choose Jacob! Because you are an extension of me and I would choose the fuzzy werewolf! BAWWWWW."people, I didn't whine about it on the internet.

I wrote my own fan fiction detailing Jacobs doings after Eclipse. He falls in love with my Werewolf counterpart and they think he imprinted on her, because she sure as hell did on him. Then he actually imprints on Nessie and my character goes off and is never seen or heard from again. Which no one in the story really cared anyways after all the Bella crap. Oops, sorry people that still wanted me to write the last chapter.  I just spoiled it for you, she probably kills herself anyways. Meh.

Anyways, I still liked the books. 'Cept for Breaking Dawn. That book wasn't thought out at all. But still, I am neither a Twihard nor an ANTwilight. I simply enjoyed reading the books and being the voice of Haeden and Kellys Bella.

I don't enjoy it being brought up in real life conversation and being jumped all over for MY OPINION and having others say "You were brainwashed by the media, go read a real book" How about you go get a life and leave others alone. People complain about religion forcing itself down peoples throats and religious people as of late have retaliated with "Well gays force their sins on others!" Don't get me started on this and it may be a little off topic(this is an extreme example, people.) but you get the idea.

Also, I own all the movies so far and I enjoy watching them from time to time. Stick that in your pipe and shut the hell up.
~~~~~~~~~

The Holidays~ My family doesn't celebrate the holidays. Simply put. They don't decorate, the only people that dress up are me and my cousin and her siblings, sure we have food and stuff. But my family has never really had the means to go all out. We've only had one "family reunion" type thing where all my aunts and uncles and cousins got together. It was really fun. It was for the fourth of July, I was around 9 or 10? But our family is all spread out and there have been problems in the past because no one can grow up and that means we haven't really had a reason to go all out either. For New Years, Valentines, St. Patricks, Easter and Halloween we don't really do anything. Sometimes we'll do eggs for the little kids. But as far as I can tell even that's died out.

The 4th, Thanksgiving and Christmas we have dinner, kinda. More so for Thanksgiving. If someone feels like getting fireworks and the times we've actually owned a grill we've done the BBQ thing. We don't do traditional gift-giving around Christmas. Our family is more of a "You get it when you need it." kind of people. We don't do toys most years unless they are from like the dollar store. Usually Grandma will take the kids one by one to do clothes shopping around their birthdays/school starting and then Christmas. So by Christmas we don't really have the need to do any of that "Holiday rush" shopping. I don't think we've even had a tree up since my Aunt Sarah moved to Vegas.

So even though my family has a huge blowout(for one reason or another, like I said. No one can get their head out of their ass long enough to grow up.) around each and every holiday, it's not about presents or about people not getting what they wanted. For the most part, my family is pretty chill. We don't have the pressure like other families do around this time of year.

The reason I brought this up is because I hear about families going into debt, or people being trampled to death or the suicide rate going up around this time of year. I think it's stupid. Why can't everyone just chill out? I mean, I am grateful for every gift I get, no matter the time of year. But it wouldn't matter to me if I got gifts or not. Really. Someone got upset a couple years ago because I gave them something and they couldn't get me anything, I say why freak out about it? People aren't living or dying because you did or didn't give them anything. I say chill, just have fun with your family and friends through the holidays and don't kill yourself. You really are leaving behind someone who cares for you.

On a lighter note, Tony's family celebrates everything and I love it. Spending time with his grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins even his parents is just so much fun. Especially at their parties. (Quilt parties and Black Friday are my favorites cause it's girl talk all day lol.) I love my family and his family, they are opposites and yet the same. I love them all.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I think the reason I posted all this is a question that has been looming on my head for the past little bit. Am I just THAT chill? Or do I really not have any taste in anything? How will my opinions on things like the stuff above shape my kids?

So anyways, this post was kinda long. But I had nothing better to do than rant cause I can't sleep with being nauseous AND having heartburn lol.

Little things that irk me...

Now note. I didn't say piss me off. Just things that people do that I'm like "Why? Why would you do that?".


When you delete people(on facebook) that haven't talked to you in over a year except to bitch at you for something stupid. And then try to add you saying things like "I thought we were friends." Or some BS like that. Or when the same people keep adding you over and over again, you keep declining their requests.

IT'S NOT BECAUSE I PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON BY ACCIDENT! I JUST DON'T LIKE YOU!!

When you say something on a friends wall and someone else decides to put in their thoughts or opinions. That are directed at that person because of what you said.

NO ONE ASKED YOU! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!

People that invite you to events and when you say you can't go they freak out.

MAYBE I JUST HAD BETTER THINGS TO DO THAT DAY!

People that read your blog and then lecture you about something you said.

IT'S MY BLOG. YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT!

Moving home?

So, tentative plan... We're working on getting an apartment closer to Fort Leonard Wood(We currently live about 20ish minutes away... up a hill... where one side is a cliff and the other a rock wall.) IF we are unable to get this apartment, then I am going home to Utah and getting a storage unit where we will have the army ship everything. BUT! That means I have to make sure the hubby puts his leave packet in ASAP and his request for single soldier housing. Because I will be taking the car with me.

Anyways, on to more important things. In case I have not mentioned it. I am pregnant, I'm probably about 2 and a half-3 months-ish along and I am sicker than a dog. Tricare (the medicare of the military) doesn't kick in for me until the first of November, then I will go in and find out everything and will post verily lol. Despite being sick, I'm really excited! I love kids and babies, and I can't wait. My bestest buddy Danee is going to be the god-mother and she's going to help me raise a hippie baby while Tony is deployed.
Everyone tells Tony it's either going to be a girl or twins. Which he says if it's a girl we're giving it back(I told my Nickie that I'd give it to her lol) and if it's twins one to Danee and one to Nickie. Also if it's triplets(Oh NOES!) then one goes to Paige lol. Ah, I miss my friends and family. And as horrible as it sounds... I kinda hope we don't get the apartment... I really just want to go home.

It's not just homesickness... I really feel like I need to be home for some reason. I just hope, for whatever reason I need to be home doesn't happen while I'm out here.

Things that make me want to punch... something... cute and fluffy.

This is a rant about current events and the gay community. If you don't want to read it then do yourself a favor and navigate away from this page. I do not want any ignorant comments on my page, that includes things like "Well you're obviously biased, wrong, misguided...etc", or "Well my opinion is right because... etc" I don't want to hear or read it.

First off, I hate how people can be so overbearing, needy, complainy, lazy, and can have their heads so far up their own asses they can't see or choose not to see what's in front of them. Or, people so stuck in their over-self-righteous ways that they can't accept other people for who they are. I am talking(mostly) about things happening between the gay community and religion(mainly the LDS church but... I'll get more into that.)

Here's the story, I'm surfing groups on facebook and anyone who knows me knows that if something catches my eyes I will read it. Doesn't matter what, if it's against what I believe or just some stupid rantings of someone. I don't care. But once in a while I will come across gems, like this which I found on an anti-gay group on facebook.

"ugh this is horrible! As old people keep dying off and a younger more educated generation is taking over, the batter against homosexual marriage is starting to go in favor of the opposition! We must stop these young people, they think they know more than older generations because they read fancy books and they read stuff that has to do with science! The only book that should be allowed in schools is the Bible and the Book of Mormon. All of our families will be destroyed if gay marriage is accepted! DESTROYED!! Sodom and Gonorrhea anyone? HELLO?!?!"


That is a direct copy and paste from the group, read it once. Then read it again. I'm not saying which group it was or by whom it was posted. If anyone really wanted to know then they could find it.

The fact of the matter is, people can think whatever they want, pray to whatever deity they choose and raise their spawn to do the same. But when someone is calling my generation "more educated" and then turning around and complaining about what we believe in. I call BS. Sure a lot more of the gay community is coming out of the closet, but I highly doubt the community itself has gotten bigger.

My PERSONAL belief (If you don't want to read it then skip this part.) - People can do whatever they want that makes them happy, as long as they aren't hurting anyone else. I also believe that God (Whoever the true God is, Buddha, Zeus... whatever.) made everyone how they are and that they are meant to be that way for some reason. I think people are born gay(with an attraction to the same sex), but like with everything else they choose to act on it.

My reasoning for this is that I know people, born into the LDS religion. Who wanted and still want nothing more than to serve in the church, mind you they have never ACTED on their attractions. But they are still unable to serve, one of my friends was told he must repent and that if he ever acted on his "impulses" that he would be excommunicated. What? But, before the rest of you ignorant people start getting all upset that "It's the church that's wrong" and blah blah blah, ALL churches think that homosexuality is wrong. Not just the LDS church. So stop picking on the mormons. Yes yes, a lot of them piss me off to no end. Especially the ones I went to school with, but pointing fingers at one group isn't going to get anything solved.

Another thought of mine, why must everything that goes against what one believes be met with anger? I mean sure, I was and still am kinda irritated at the ignorance of people. But why would you kill someone for being gay? Or why would you make fun of them to the point of them committing suicide and later laugh at their funeral and tell their parents they deserved it? (Another experience of mine involving a brother of two of my best gay friends.) Why can't everyone just chill out, smoke a couple blunts and just be fucking happy!?

One more note, what would you do if your best friend or hell, someone in your family came out? Would you treat them differently? Would you still think the same way if they were persecuted? I am proud to say that I am straight with bi-tendencies. I have girl crushes(Even though I am happily married to my husband and am pregnant with his child.). And shit. I have had three relationships with girls. All of whom are my friends. I might have some issues with my own family if they read this. But with all that is going on. I don't really care.

I'm going to address this Boyd K Packer "issue" that everyone has in some respect, I will not address it any other time. Some people have an issue with his talk, and others have an issue with the people that have an issue with his talk. This is a never ending shit storm that will probably still be talked about to our kids. If you ask me, it's really r-tarded. Now me, I am a person without an issue, I just think everyone needs to chill the fuck out and smoke a doobie. Packers talk was obviously about pornography(Not that most people have read it, I have but honestly 99% of the people with the issue have not read it... or they choose to interpret it their way in order to have one more problem with the church.), he only talked about temptations and that people could change their ways or avoid them. HE WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY!! And now there is a group, and I will name this one "WE LOVE YOU - President Boyd K Packer" and some people make me ashamed to lay claim to the fact that I am part of the LDS religion, such as this guy

"Standing up for what is Right is exactly what I would expect from a Man of God. God is Very Pleased with you Brother Packer, God is Pleased. Soon enough the people of this world will reap what they have sowed. For now the Righteous will have to put up with the Wicked." and a reply to his comment, " Isn't it great to be one of the righteous ones?! Oh man, I feel sorry for everyone else who isn't as holy as I"

Yes I thought that they might just be making a sarcastic comment... but scrolling down the wall of this group, there are more comments made by the same people saying basically the same things. I hate the people blindly being all like "I'm going to be save and you're not." When the hell did we all regress back into preschool? Since when is it ok for the adults to start acting like privileged little shits?

Oh this one, this one makes me want to tear my hair out, "Gays, gays the horrible fruit, the more you see, the more you shoot!" What. The Fuck. I HATE people. I hate them so much, I hope that in the new millennium that anyone who has ever said anything like that "in the name of God"... I don't even know what I want to happen. It just frustrates me that I'm going to have to teach my kids never to be like that. It sucks! I hate it!

I'm just sick of all the hate and the negativity and the high and mighty church-goers(Not just LDS). Even though I say hate I don't mean it. I just can't find another word expressing my dislike. Why can't everyone just grow up and keep their ignorance towards other people to themselves? It would save everyone a lot of hassle.

Some links for the people who have luckily stayed out of the loop thus far,

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/event.php?eid=157010880987998
http://gaymormonguy.blogspot.com/2010/10/president-packers-talk-from-gay-mormon.html
http://michaelbronson.blogspot.com/
http://mormonsformarriage.com/?p=299
http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/official-statement/same-gender-attraction

Uh oh, the zest for bitching...

Has left me. Maybe it's just because I'm tired and sick. Maybe it's because I'm content to sit here and eat my pizza hut. Or maybe... I dunno. I just don't care anymore? Yes. That's a good reason lol.

Well, it's been a while. Where to start? I moved to Missouri in May with my husband, we are permanent party(Which means we're stationed here for 3-5 years) Not that that's keeping me from going home soonish. I miss Utah, I miss my family (both sides) and my friends. No matter how dumb they've been while I've been gone.
But I wonder, when is a good time to go home? I mean... it's not like we can save any money while we're renting this stupid house... but I don't want to leave Tony with these next few months being his last here... (He's getting deployed, although I'm not allowed to say when or where.) My original plan was to move home in February, but being pregnant and stressed out is making it harder to be away from home. I just want to pack a few things and let Tony deal with the rest. But, unless I do everything. It doesn't get done. Awesome I know.

I'm thinking November. It's only $183 from here to Utah and if I'm able to find a storage unit then things can move along quicker. As a matter of fact. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going home next month. I will find a storage unit and when The Boys get back from their fieldwork they can supervise the moving of everything else. When Tony comes home for Christmas then he can just leave the car and we can send him back on said greyhound. Sounds simple enough...

Because.... (Miley Cyrus rating)

So I was going to finish that crazy bitch rant, but the phone I had all the texts saved on died, and because I no longer live at home in "good"ol' Utah I can't charge it. But when I do I will finish the three part epic rant blog.

So for now I'm on to more pressing matters.
Gossip (Or what I call bitching with an opinion attached.)


Most talked about rumors... and other things.
Lady gaga: Is secretly a man/has a penis/has admitted to having a penis, sings like a man/looks like a man/..... yeah pretty much you've heard them all.
Miley Cyrus: Is turning into a slut and her father isn't doing anything to stop it.....
Justin Beiber:  Is 13!!!!!!
Twilight suckzzzzzzz!!!!!!!11111!!!!111 my balz1!



Some of these I find entertaining. And in the forums I sometimes like to go to the lady gaga section or what have you and read the idiocy. I have only posted my opinion three times because as much as I love reading the trolls and flamers I don't believe in fueling them. I have finally however become bored enough to post my opinion online.

Dear Miley Cyrus, you are still underage. Wait to send those topless pics to your 21 year old boyfriend for another year. If he really loves your religious babble and need to rebel against said religion then he will wait to see your boobies. But if you insist, we've already seen your cooter... what three times now?

Your father is using you to boost his career because of his midlife crisis, have fun being an unwed mother in a couple years.
~Me

So I have been reading about some music award show where she was wearing black leather and some white thing... so naturally my inner costumer came out and I had to find pictures

 <~~~~White thing? Not so bad, I like the leg band and the heels are interesting.

Wait... is that Madonna's vagina? ~~~>

Actually that's not too bad, kinda Gaga-ish... but everyone is trying to be Gaga.. even Christina Aguiliera *Shudders*

Hmm.... a nice close up Holy shit! It's gone rabid!!!!







Below: The true face of horror. Oh well, at least they put something there to keep her from eating poor little Justin Bieber... of course she could just go over it... Wonder what would happen if...













Oh noes!!!!!! Run little Canadian boy run!!!! She seems so proud of herself.....








Ahem, I think that about covers the white thing... now how about that leather?

 What? Is that it? Hmm, sexy.

O. I. C. I like it though. Borders on Gaga... but still.



Wait.... Is that the funky chicken? Maybe I should watch TV more often.... or maybe I shouldn't....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! JUSTIN!!!!!

Anyways, just thought someone would enjoy those snapshots.

Sure these outfits are a far cry from her booty shorts... wait... she doesn't really have a booty... can I still call them that?
 Oh whatever. Her first "skanky" outfit from Party in the U.S.A... Oi.
Do I think she's a skank? Nah, not really. Blame the parents... and Disney. This would have never happened if they had kept So Weird and Even Stevens running. If she wants to present herself this way then let her have at it. Worst case scenario: She shaves all her hair off and has like twenty kids.

Although I will admit I hate listening to her live and she is a horrible actor. I enjoy some of her songs (but would never spend money on any of her merchandise... including music.)

Overall rating 2/10 (Because whoever is running her costumes is magic... I just with they weren't on her.)

Woah there crazy bitch..... Pt 1

Dear Sheraya,


Here is my side of what happened and my reasoning for not wanting to put up with your crap anymore.



Lets start with the Danee and Alex thing.

You let them make out in the first place. You were the one who needed security and closure in your relationship and needed to know that you would be the only woman in his life. Well. Didn't you fuck up? It doesn’t matter that you say Alex forced you into it, you still gave in.

Alex has told lots of people he doesn't want to marry you and you're too dense to see the signs. With your history of not listening to people when they are trying to tell you things has kind of put us all off of trying to tell you what's been in your best interests. So...

ALEX CHEATED ON YOU!

It doesn't matter if he felt abandoned or need an emotional connection. Guess what?

IT STILL HAPPENED!

That is not something to forgive so easily, especially if you're blaming it all on the other person.

Danee did not tie up your sham of a boyfriend, force feed him ecstasy and Viagra and have her way with him. And if that thought has ever crossed your mind as a legit reason then you are even crazier than we all thought and further into denial than we all realized.



You and Alex had some kind of fight and he "needed emotional comfort" Which he thought he could get from Danee because she has always been nice to him. He started texting her and asking to hang out because he needed someone to talk to. I can only imagine how it ended up like this. But hey, that happened in August, right after you went to school. Hmmm, and didn't I go down in September to see your play? And did I not mention that Alex had been texting her and asking her to make out and things? And what was your reaction? What did you say when I said I had seen the texts? "Oh, we got into a fight and I gave him a month to do whatever her wanted." and I said that this wasn't the first time he had been texting her like that. What did you say next? "We get in a lot of fights." That sounded like a blow off to me. So when someone brings up the fact that I tried to tell you about Alex and you say that I didn't. Just remember that and don't call me a shitty friend. And guess what?

EVERYONE KNEW!

That's what's so sad. No one felt the need to tell you. I wonder why. Maybe because you're a crazy bitch and wouldn't believe anyone but your perfect boyfriend.



"Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken. But you can still see the cracks in that mother fucker’s reflection." - Lady Gaga ~ Telephone Feat. Beyonce.



Ever since Sarah's goodbye party I've been really pissed at you, for your "I'm better than that" attitude. It was your fault anything at all happened, you were the one being an uber fucking bitch and smashing the boys. Then you and Alex were being asses and saying that I couldn’t be left there to baby sit. I may have asked Alex for a favor but if he really regretted it he probably would have told me. He was probably ashamed of you being an ass. Oh, and you are by far the worst babysitter. EVER. Even Sarah thought and still thinks it was bullshit, the way you acted.

So whatever, things cooled down ish. But then it started feeling more and more like you were just walking all over me.

Like when my aunt was convinced that a cop was observing the house because she was being retarded, and I couldn’t be out past ten and then you fucking come home at 1:30am and I almost got grounded. All because you felt it wasn’t fair for you to be home when I had to be because you only get to come up on the weekends and that’s your only time to see your boyfriend. It was just for that weekend, and I told you that. But no. It’s all about you apparently. Or when I worked at the forest and forgot to leave you my room keys, twice. And you bitched, I know you did, about me not coming home one of those nights. But whatever, I was able to pay for California and really now that I look back that’s all you wanted or cared about. Sure Tony and I really wanted to go for obvious reasons, but all you cared about was yourself. Again.



You wanted Tony and I to come along because then you and Alex could act like a couple. Which pretty much went like this :

1 Fight

2 Be pissy

3 Makeup Sex

(Hey, even though Tony and I didn't say anything we felt really awkward when you guys fought and when you kept pressuring him about you guys getting married. Which was like every 20 minutes. Rediculous.)

Yup. Cause that’s what real couples do apparently. Oh, while we’re on the subject. I know you bitched about us getting married. Because our relationship hadn’t progressed as far as yours and Alex’s, and what level would your relationship be on at the moment? The “I’m not in love with her and I can’t break up with her because I’m scared she’ll kill herself, or me, and I won’t have a booty call anymore….” Level? Or wait the “I’m so blindly in love I refuse to see his obvious flaws” level?



Back onto the subject, after California I got sick and because I decided to go home before going to Wal-Mart and getting some meds I didn’t get there in time and the store closed. So I was cranky and sick the day I got married and before I could even take any of my meds you and Sarah came over. That wasn’t a problem, it was the fact that anytime I tried to help or anything you kept shushing me. What the hell? I’m not a bridezilla, and wasn’t that day either. But I do believe telling the bride to be quiet on her wedding day is no fucking bueno.

You may have said that you were just kidding, but even Sarah thought you were being a bitch. So I called Jessie and Danee to come over and help out. Because I knew you would shut the fuck up if they were there. Guess what? It worked. And it’s really funny because Sarah didn’t have a problem with Danee taking the train of my dress out and she was the original and the main maid of honor. You got pissed? You weren’t even going to be in my bridal party because you were planning it and I felt that was fair.

Been a while and..... HE COMES HOME IN...

23 days!!!!! I am sooo excited I cannot even begin to describe. I can't wait to finally sleep next to someone again  and to tell him everything that has happened since he left that I just couldnt describe over letters or our short phone calls.

A little background because if anyone is reading this they are probably thinking I'm a spaz. Well... I am... but that's besides the point!

My husband and I are 19, we were together in one way or another all of senior year and started joking about getting married. It slowly turned serious and in december of 09' we were married (After he proposed in disneyland right after the fireworks. It was absolutely perfect.) eight days later he was shipped to Fort Leonardwood Missouri for basic training.... Lovely way to start out a marriage, I know. ;P But it is now... or will be april in two hours and I will be able to see him in 22 days and bring him home in 23.

Anyways whole strew of things happened while he was... er.... is gone. One of my ex best friends decided to be a crazy psycho bitch and I finally decided that I was done putting up with her. I might post my side of it later on. Almost everyone I know is getting or is married. And everyone is having babies except me.... *pouts* But that's ok. I think I can wait..... maybe.

But not having him here to help me figure out how to handle things has been really hard. Usually I can discuss with him and come up with a solution that doesnt involve my being an uber bitch. (It takes a lot to push me in to uber bitch mode.) But it was easier to let my emotions go and just chill out and go with the flow when he was here. Because whatever descision I made he still loved me and was there to hold me, even when I pissed other people off he would say they deserved it because I'm too nice and never get mad when I need to. And it would all be better, magically. He has that power over me. Even when I'm crying he knows how to make me laugh.... he's an ass about it. But thats ok, I still love him.

Anyways... that's enough for this catch up blog. I am going to wal-mart to get some pistachio ice cream and then I'm going home to hang with my in-laws before going to bed.